Monday, February 23, 2009

Google Can Bite Me.

 

I got this idea from Jenners, a HILARIOUS blogger.  Thanks, Jenners!

Type your name and the word “needs” into the Google search engine.  For example, I typed “Caitlin needs.”  And then you get to see what they come up with!

(Sidenote!!:  Did you know that Google doesn’t want you to say that you “Googled” something.  They want you to say that you used the Google SEARCH ENGINE.  Thanks to my computer-minded husband, I know this.  They don’t want to become a synonym for all internet searches so that they don’t lose their identity.

For example:  When you blow your nose, what do you use?  A Kleenex, right?  Do you?  Or do you use a Western Family Facial Tissue?  We call them all Kleenexs now.  How about Bandaids?  Or are they Adhesive Strips?  See?)

Anywhoo…

Let’s see what Google thinks that I need.

FIRST SEARCH RESULT:

…Caitlin needs a DIET…” :  Wow, Google.  Way to hit me right where it hurts.  Why you got to be like that?  Jesus and Brian love me the way that I am. If you were here, I would shove one of these Mike and Ikes I’m eating up your “nose.”  (wink, wink.)

2.  “Caitlin needs YOUR HELP!” : With what, Google?  Losing weight?  Jerk.

3. “Caitlin needs GAS-X.” :  Wow.  Talk about Big Brother.  How did you know that, Google?  According to my dramatic husband (and parents, and siblings…odd), I DO tend to have excessive gas.  I think that other people are just better at HOLDING it than I am.  Why hold it?  Who am I trying to impress around here?  You, Google?  Moving on.

4.  “Caitlin needs A ‘B’ IN CHEMISTRY…”:  Hmm.  Well, I DON’T actually, but thanks.  For the record, I totally ACED chemistry.  (Our teacher was a football coach who had to teach SOMETHING in order to be on the staff.  He used to ask ME for help.  And I wasn’t even good.)

5. “Caitlin needs A FARMER BOY.”:  Do I ever.

6.  “Caitlin needs to spend a large amount of time each day on the internet…” :  I SWEAR that it said that.  If you say so, Google!

7. “Caitlin needs immediate surgery for her condition…”:  What condition?  Liposuction?  Enough fat jokes, Google, I’m out.

It turns out that Google is kind of rude. 

So, you know what, Google? 

I am going to go GOOGLE some recipes for bread, and then I am going to go GOOGLE some pictures from the Academy Awards last night, and then I am going to think of things I want to know and

Google it.

Google it.

Google it.

 

9 comments:

Momma said...

You are affecting the oxygen level in our home! Dad and I could't catch our breath for the laughter when we were reading this entry....Very entertaining, and I think we will skip "Google-ing" our "needs." We already have enough people in our lives giving us advice!

suzy said...

ha! :^)

Rachel said...

AMEN!!!!! I GOOGLE stuff all the time. So kiss that GOOGLE!

Jenners said...

How very crafty of you to seek revenge by stealing Google's unique identity! I love it! Like hell I'm going to use Google Search Engine ... HAHA!

This came out great! I'm so glad you did it. These amuse me to no end ... and thanks for the shout-out and calling me "hilarious." I love it! : )

Maureen said...

You TOLD Google! That was hilarious!

Jagjot said...

Have you ever wondered!! the meaning to google.!!

Googol is the mathematical term for a 1 followed by 100 zeros. The term was coined by Milton Sirotta, nephew of American mathematician Edward Kasner, and was popularized in the book, “Mathematics and the Imagination” by Kasner and James Newman. Google’s play on the term reflects the company’s mission to organize the immense amount of information available on the web.”

Goooooooooo,oooooooooo,oooooooooo,oooooooooo,oooooooooo,
oooooooooo,oooooooooo,oooooooooo,oooooooooo,ooooooooooGle

is indeed derived from Googol

10000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,
0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000.
Yes, that is 100 zeros!

Simfreak111 said...

From one Caitlin to the next, this post was genius and I kind of want to steal the title of your blog. It is genius and people always spell my name wrong. It is so annoying. Anyway...I really enjoyed this post and happened upon it by doing the whole "Caitlin needs" thing in Google. Keep up the good work and always remember that your name is spelled the right way!

Caitlin Dowbiggin said...

I feel like you would be pleased to know, that now when you google "What Caitlin needs", Google can Bite Me is the top result.

As a fellow Caitlin, I Thank You.

Caitlin said...

THANK YOU Caitlin Dowbiggin for alerting me of this! I cannot tell you how happy this makes me! HAHAHAHAHA!