Wednesday, November 27, 2013

A Thanksgiving Poem for the Moms



May you finish your plate before it gets cold,

May your children not ask Grandma why she looks old.


May you get a long shower, or at least a cute hat!

May the children not break something right off the bat.


May this not be the week your husband gets the flu,

may your in-laws compliment all that you do.


May the grace be brief before the kids start to fight,

and may 7:30 pm see them all out like a light.


May your waistbands be stretchy,

may the best leftovers stay,

you deserve it, Momma!

Have a great Thanksgiving day!



Monday, November 25, 2013

Its dark outside and I’m still angry!


“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”


We’ve all heard it.  It was the #1 marriage advice given to me!

And I’m not going to say that it is wrong in any way, because it is in the Bible, and I believe that the Bible is Truth.  So implying anything different makes me allll kinds of uncomfortable.


But maybe God didn’t mean a literal day with sun going down? Maybe he just meant don’t let your anger fester?  A figurative “day?”

Maybe I’m at a stage in my life where this is just not possible, even though it should be?

Or maybe, as a friend of mine joked the other day, He meant for us to all go to bed by 7pm?



Because the whole hash it out and forgive before you go to sleep thing was NOT working for us.

If it’s working for you- don’t let me stop you!  Keep up the good work!  Also…teach me how it works for you?

But if it’s maybe not working on your end either?  The rest of this post is for you.



Oh, you poor little Momma you!

At the end of the day you are tired.  TIRED!  So very very tired.


And more than just SLEEPY…tired means you are also fed up with your adorable little people and their precious needs, their body fluids, and those darling sticky hands.


The only words that you want spoken to you, even from your wonderful husband, are some combination of “ice cream” “I will clean up” and “Babysitter.”


Then, Surprise!  He wants to talk about the GROCERY BUDGET!  or…(insert your most popular argument here.)  Ours seems to be “money talks.”  Actually, I feel a little mad just typing those words.


But, since you are tired, this conversation becomes not just about “budget”, but about

BUDGET + I still feel chubby + why aren’t you helping more?! + we’re out of milk AGAIN and I forgot! + I thought parenting was a partnership so how come I am the only one with leaky boobs + I haven’t slept through the night in years.


Just off the top of my head.



And I’m not saying that you are being unreasonable, little tired Momma!

But…maybe you are a little.  You just don’t know it yet.



Here’s my advice:


1)  Agree to talk about it another time SOON and come to a conclusion at that point.


2) Leave him alone and go clean something or cry and rage in the bathroom.


3) When you go to bed- DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT HIM!  Because your Prince Charming is also a MAN, which means that he will be able to go to sleep instantly

And if you look directly at that peaceful sleeping face while you are still filled with righteous tired rage you will have to restrain yourself from smothering him with a pillow. 

Or your nursing bra. 

Or that dirty pair of men’s socks you just stepped on.

Double Ahem.



4)  In the morning, when you are drinking your (cold) coffee (at noon), things will look much brighter!

Well, they ARE brighter…because its daytime.  So literally and figuratively….wait…ARGH!

You know what I mean!

Leave me alone! I’m tired!  Its nighttime for Pete’s sake!


The end.




Saturday, November 23, 2013

They are the Y to my X




I helped out in Joseph’s class yesterday, and at one point I found myself surrounded by little kindergarten girls all watching me do my helper-project.

I was frozen. 


What do I say to little girls?  Do I tell them they have pretty hair/clothes/shoes? While simultaneously reminding them that they don’t have to find value in appearance?  Do they like to talk about…jump rope?  Lollipops?  Do they run around pushing one of those wheel things with a stick like I imagine?  Why do they smell so good?


And then yesterday afternoon I made a Star Wars joke with Joseph    (I can’t remember it right now, but it involved Darth Maul and dropping his light saber and…well, whatever, if you were there-and you were a six year old boy- you would have totally LOL-ed)                                                                                                         and we were laughing together and it hit me! Waaaaaiiiit a minute!  I’m doing it!  I’m a BOY MOM!!  You guys!  I am a BOY MOM??!


So, if you do not have boys, here are my questions:


Who is peeing on your bathroom floor?  NO ONE?! Hold on…is NO ONE PEEING ON YOUR BATHROOM FLOOR??  Is this a thing that happens to people?


Is anyone (peee-ooo, peee-oo!!) making (peee-ooo, peee-oo!!) laser sounds (peee-ooo, peee-oo!!) until you want (pee-ooo, peee-oo!!) to scoop out your eardrums (pee-ooo, peee-oo!!) with a spoon?


Do you know the name of the white ninja?  And that he is really (leans in closely and whispers) a ROBOT?!


Do you say Thomas the train instead of Thomas the Tank Engine?  You silly!


Also, who is giving you hugs that almost break your neck?


Who is proposing marriage to you and, once you explain that you are taken, agreeing to live next door?


Are your couch cushions on the floor?  To jump on?


I don’t know what my life would BE like without this rowdy, laughing, slightly-urine-smelling house full of boys! 


If you don’t have white carpet, or breakable things, or things that you are really really attached to, and if you like to have your heart broken with the sweetness that is a little boy kissing your cheek,

I recommend that you get some boys immediately!


And if you can’t, you are MORE THAN WELCOME to come and babysit mine!



(for free)

Friday, November 22, 2013

Cozy up



We have entered into the not-so-pretty part of fall in Oregon.

The leaves are down and mushy-brown on the ground

It is gloomy and dark so early and coooold (I’m searching the internet for baby mittens in another window right now.)


Also, my keyboard is mysteriously sticky?  Which has nothing to do with the weather, but I feel as thought it is worth noting as every “space bar” has my left thumb sticking.  And whatever is bugging Caitlin is notable on my blog.


The two littlest boys have been fighting off a case of the coughy-sniffles, and I have been fighting off a case of the sleepies for… the past six years.

All of the above = we are hunkering down and cozying up.


I am staying home more, especially in the dark, wet afternoons.


Brian is making fires in the morning, and then I feed it all day with wood that I make my sons bring in for me.  Kind of like an all-day love note from my husband.


We are thinking of indoor activities to pass the time (*cough*extra movies!*cough*) and eating lots of pumpkin-items, soup, and comforting things like cinnamon rolls.



Also, I prefer to now be in my robe by 3:00 pm. 

But, I wear it over my clothes…so can we call it a housecoat?  Are housecoats classier than robes?  How about if they are red and fuzzy? 


  I’m thankful for my cozy, easy life.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Turkeys are delicious, but not that Exciting



Sooo, people seem to get really fired up over the whole decorating-for-Christmas-before-Thanksgiving thing, am I right?  Rarely have my friends united against something so strongly as they have united against the holiday-aisles and their neighbors’ strings of lights!!

“What about Thanksgiving??!!” they shriek!


Here’s why I don’t care if people decorate early for Christmas:


1) Christmas decorations make a regular trip to Target with your children a magical journey that fills your fun-quota for the week! 

Their eyes are huge with wonder, you spend way too much money (as usual- Target is a sneaky little minx), and BINGO! Your fun-Mama job is done!  You know what that means?  Movie time!!


2)  Have you tried explaining the concept of Thanksgiving Day to a 3 and 5-year old?  It goes a little something like this.

Me: “On Thanksgiving, we get together with our family, eat lots of food, and think about what we are thankful for!”


Joseph:  “And…then its how long until Christmas?”

Isaac:  “CHRISTMAS!!”

It’s a hard sell.



3) If you put lights up in November, then I am hopeful that you will get sick of them and take them down before February.  Which is when I find them annoying.




Now we move on to the point of this post!  Which I was a little nervous to post with all of the premature holiday rage floating around here!  Haha!  We’re all friends, right??

My kids got their picture taken with Santa last week!  Eeek!  Two full weeks before Thanksgiving!


Because there was no line, people!

Are you ready for this year’s gem of a picture?  That may just get you in the Holiday spirit??!



Apparently, we wish you a mildly Merry Christmas and a fairly Happy New Year….

…whenever you are ready to celebrate it.



Can’t get enough Caitlin??

Well, good news!

I started Twitter today.

You can find my button in the sidebar or here is the link for now:


I chose “Caitlin is tired” as my username because “Caitlin is Fabulous” was already taken, of course!

Just kidding, I was too tired to check if that was available.


I’m going to try my best to figure this whole thing out, but I don’t actually know what I’m doing-

and so far I keep accidentally inside my head calling them “twits” instead of “tweets.” 

Wish me luck!


Monday, November 11, 2013





Today started like every other day: with a prayer for me to have patience with my children.

And it ended like pretty much every other day: with me losing my fool mind at these little animals.


There were good things too- I danced with the kids to my favorite Christmas song and made them laugh. 

(I will not apologize for Christmas music in November)

(I AM sorry that I have been playing it since September)

I took them swimming, and I looked way more interested than I was at all of Joseph’s ninjago-facts!


But I know that I yelled more than I should, I lost my temper, and the last words I said to Isaac were, “I don’t care! Stay in your bed or you will get a punishment!!!”

He did stay in bed, and now I sit in a quiet house feeling guilty.

Looking through pictures of my sweet boys, thinking back over the day and tearing up a bit because Oh! How I LOVE THEM!  And I how I wish I could do better for them!


And I know you are going to say that it is the wishing to do better that makes me a good mom (bless you all!), but how I wish I was a good Mom for being patient, or using only kind words, or…I don’t know!…having a cookie jar always full of warm fresh cookies or something!  And a pony! I want a pony too!!


I will log off of this computer in a minute, feeling equal parts chagrined (mistakes of the past) and hopeful/determined (to do better in the future)

I will unload the same dishes that I unloaded this morning, and pick up the same toys that I picked up last night.

I will kiss my sleeping babies (blowing a kiss at Samuel, lest I wake the sleeping cherub!), and whisper “I love you” and, sometimes, “I’m sorry.”

Then I will go to bed, refreshed, as Caitlin, and awaken (too soon!) as Mama, praying for patience again.




Tuesday, November 5, 2013




I am starting a new organization.


Here is what its called:

Mothers Against Looking Cute At School Drop Off

or…Malcasdo for short?

Admittedly the acronym needs some work.



Here’s the thing: I don’t want to be out of my house and seen by people at 7:30 in the morning.

More importantly, I don’t want to be out and seen by people at 7:30 in the morning after I ALSO had to get 3 boys up/fed/bundled and out the door. 

Because see how my school child looks all fresh and fed and tooth-brushed and hair combed and outfit matching?

He used up all of that I had in me.

And all of the TIME that I had for all of that too.


I’m not saying that you CAN’T look cute if you want to! 

But, please know that your looking cute EVERY DAY is making some of us- who felt triumphant for not wearing their robe to school- feel a little…less than ideal.


So, maybe you can look cute on holidays?  Every other day?  While wearing a sign that says It’s okay! I have to look cute because I’m going to work!” or “My husband has the day off so I had help!” or “I’m just a morning person and got up early for fun!”


But for the rest of you mothers- unite with me!  Lets hit that snooze button one more time (we deserve it!) and save the make-up and non-ponytailed hair for 9 am like a sane person!


This I promise you- fellow Malcasdo-ians!! 


1) I will do the bare minimum (ie: I will take off my robe and put on a bra)

(unless I wear a coat- in which case the bra is OBVIOUSLY optional)

(AND unless I am just dropping off my child while staying in the car- in which case the robe is also acceptable)

Basically all I can promise is that I will cover my nakedness.


2) I would rather be sleeping.


Who’s with me?!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Halloween Recap



Here it is!  Our official Halloween 2013 picture:






And, the unofficial ones:




A brief recap:

- We got FREE scary-face pancakes at IHOP, which thrilled the boys and me alike! BONUS: Took home leftovers and they doubled as Samuel’s dinner! I smell a tradition coming on!

image (6)

- I served my annual Happy Halloweiner Wraps for dinner, which none of my kids love per se, but I serve them anyway- just so I can say the name.


- The boys were pretty much trick-or-treating independently this year (they had some of their older cousins to guide/accompany them) so all we had to do was stand at the curb and shout an occasional thank you.

DSC_0044(those are my parents- in case you are wondering why they look so thrilled to have trick-or-treaters)


And once I guess I did have to backtrack to find Isaac’s treat bucket that he mysteriously left on the yard of some house.


- Samuel hung out in Brian’s arms and the stroller with his first-ever sucker




- The day ended with our annual post-Halloween-meltdown; the volume and pitch of which can only be obtained by ripping sugar-high children away from the most candy that they have ever seen in their little candy-driven lives and forcing them into their beds.  See!  My boys enjoy SOME traditions!



(Also costumes over coats and Samuel has long-johns on under his tights!)





I think it might have been our best Halloween ever!

Or, at least since we looked like this:






Just for my own nostalgia- indulge me!- our past Halloweens in review:




Joseph in the same chickie costume as Samuel wore this year!






Dragon Joseph trick or treating with our good friends in Idaho.  Isaac made a brief appearance that year:






Isaac in- SURPRISE!- the same chickie costume!  And this was right when Joseph’s Batman phase began. (I wouldn’t see his full face again for years)


FUN FACT: We moved to New Jersey the day before Halloween so I unpacked all day, didn’t make the weiner wraps, and was sooooo exhausted.  IMG_5357Oh yes, and Brian left our pumpkins at the hotel where we had been living in NYC (I’m not bitter, Brian! Just have a good memory!) so I “had” to  drive around NJ frantically trying to find a pumpkin ON Halloween so that Joseph could have the carving experience.

Summary: Not my best year! Haha! (I can laugh about it now!)





Joseph the ninja and Isaac the dragon (are you seeing the pattern?  Can you guess what Samuel will be next year?)

It snowed like crazy in NJ this year, and I trick or treated with some random ladies that I was dating to be friends with (it never panned out really) and I could hardly push my stroller  because of the snow drifts.

Brian didn’t get home from work until almost 7 and by that point Joseph was running a mysterious fever and requested that he go to bed.




DSC_0142The year of the superheroes!  Oh how I love family-themed costumes!  And little teensie bald Samuel!