Monday, November 11, 2013





Today started like every other day: with a prayer for me to have patience with my children.

And it ended like pretty much every other day: with me losing my fool mind at these little animals.


There were good things too- I danced with the kids to my favorite Christmas song and made them laugh. 

(I will not apologize for Christmas music in November)

(I AM sorry that I have been playing it since September)

I took them swimming, and I looked way more interested than I was at all of Joseph’s ninjago-facts!


But I know that I yelled more than I should, I lost my temper, and the last words I said to Isaac were, “I don’t care! Stay in your bed or you will get a punishment!!!”

He did stay in bed, and now I sit in a quiet house feeling guilty.

Looking through pictures of my sweet boys, thinking back over the day and tearing up a bit because Oh! How I LOVE THEM!  And I how I wish I could do better for them!


And I know you are going to say that it is the wishing to do better that makes me a good mom (bless you all!), but how I wish I was a good Mom for being patient, or using only kind words, or…I don’t know!…having a cookie jar always full of warm fresh cookies or something!  And a pony! I want a pony too!!


I will log off of this computer in a minute, feeling equal parts chagrined (mistakes of the past) and hopeful/determined (to do better in the future)

I will unload the same dishes that I unloaded this morning, and pick up the same toys that I picked up last night.

I will kiss my sleeping babies (blowing a kiss at Samuel, lest I wake the sleeping cherub!), and whisper “I love you” and, sometimes, “I’m sorry.”

Then I will go to bed, refreshed, as Caitlin, and awaken (too soon!) as Mama, praying for patience again.




1 comment:

Maureen said...

Awww, the life and thoughts of a loving mother. You do an amazing job, but no matter how much you the end of the day, it's usually not enough. At least that is what OUR minds tell us. Keep focusing on the positive sweets...those boys are THRIVING with all you give - honest :)