“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”
We’ve all heard it. It was the #1 marriage advice given to me!
And I’m not going to say that it is wrong in any way, because it is in the Bible, and I believe that the Bible is Truth. So implying anything different makes me allll kinds of uncomfortable.
But maybe God didn’t mean a literal day with sun going down? Maybe he just meant don’t let your anger fester? A figurative “day?”
Maybe I’m at a stage in my life where this is just not possible, even though it should be?
Or maybe, as a friend of mine joked the other day, He meant for us to all go to bed by 7pm?
Because the whole hash it out and forgive before you go to sleep thing was NOT working for us.
If it’s working for you- don’t let me stop you! Keep up the good work! Also…teach me how it works for you?
But if it’s maybe not working on your end either? The rest of this post is for you.
Oh, you poor little Momma you!
At the end of the day you are tired. TIRED! So very very tired.
And more than just SLEEPY…tired means you are also fed up with your adorable little people and their precious needs, their body fluids, and those darling sticky hands.
The only words that you want spoken to you, even from your wonderful husband, are some combination of “ice cream” “I will clean up” and “Babysitter.”
Then, Surprise! He wants to talk about the GROCERY BUDGET! or…(insert your most popular argument here.) Ours seems to be “money talks.” Actually, I feel a little mad just typing those words.
But, since you are tired, this conversation becomes not just about “budget”, but about
BUDGET + I still feel chubby + why aren’t you helping more?! + we’re out of milk AGAIN and I forgot! + I thought parenting was a partnership so how come I am the only one with leaky boobs + I haven’t slept through the night in years.
Ahem.
Just off the top of my head.
And I’m not saying that you are being unreasonable, little tired Momma!
But…maybe you are a little. You just don’t know it yet.
Here’s my advice:
1) Agree to talk about it another time SOON and come to a conclusion at that point.
2) Leave him alone and go clean something or cry and rage in the bathroom.
3) When you go to bed- DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT HIM! Because your Prince Charming is also a MAN, which means that he will be able to go to sleep instantly!
And if you look directly at that peaceful sleeping face while you are still filled with righteous tired rage you will have to restrain yourself from smothering him with a pillow.
Or your nursing bra.
Or that dirty pair of men’s socks you just stepped on.
Double Ahem.
4) In the morning, when you are drinking your (cold) coffee (at noon), things will look much brighter!
Well, they ARE brighter…because its daytime. So literally and figuratively….wait…ARGH!
You know what I mean!
Leave me alone! I’m tired! Its nighttime for Pete’s sake!
The end.
1 comment:
Hey Lovely Lady,
I came to the conclusion about half way through our young seven year marriage that we are not the couple that hashes it out before our head hits the pillow for a multiple of reasons. I always had my mom in my head saying never go bed angry and I felt guilt for a long time about it but lets face it, men do NOT hear you when you are trying to make a point. When they are bold enough to confront us they have convinced themselves they are right and there is NOTHING you are going to do at that moment to change their mind. So, I take that night (this stays with us) to figure out how I can convince him he is actually in fact wrong in without actually telling him that he is wrong. I find a way to let him come up with my way on his own. It's a win win.
I have a lot of memories of my parents "hashing" it out loudly all night and honestly, they were not fond memories and they 75% of the time were about money. In premarital counselling it was topic number one. MONEY is the root of all evil and there will never be enough so let's not fight or bicker let's make more babies :) which will lead to less money. See, vicious cycle!
PS, Men they fall asleep in an instant and sleep like a rock! Doesn't it just drive you NUTS!!! I sleep awake with one eye open. It is absolutely exhausting.
Wow, this was a long comment.
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