I helped out in Joseph’s class yesterday, and at one point I found myself surrounded by little kindergarten girls all watching me do my helper-project.
I was frozen.
What do I say to little girls? Do I tell them they have pretty hair/clothes/shoes? While simultaneously reminding them that they don’t have to find value in appearance? Do they like to talk about…jump rope? Lollipops? Do they run around pushing one of those wheel things with a stick like I imagine? Why do they smell so good?
And then yesterday afternoon I made a Star Wars joke with Joseph (I can’t remember it right now, but it involved Darth Maul and dropping his light saber and…well, whatever, if you were there-and you were a six year old boy- you would have totally LOL-ed) and we were laughing together and it hit me! Waaaaaiiiit a minute! I’m doing it! I’m a BOY MOM!! You guys! I am a BOY MOM??!
So, if you do not have boys, here are my questions:
Who is peeing on your bathroom floor? NO ONE?! Hold on…is NO ONE PEEING ON YOUR BATHROOM FLOOR?? Is this a thing that happens to people?
Is anyone (peee-ooo, peee-oo!!) making (peee-ooo, peee-oo!!) laser sounds (peee-ooo, peee-oo!!) until you want (pee-ooo, peee-oo!!) to scoop out your eardrums (pee-ooo, peee-oo!!) with a spoon?
Do you know the name of the white ninja? And that he is really (leans in closely and whispers) a ROBOT?!
Do you say Thomas the train instead of Thomas the Tank Engine? You silly!
Also, who is giving you hugs that almost break your neck?
Who is proposing marriage to you and, once you explain that you are taken, agreeing to live next door?
Are your couch cushions on the floor? To jump on?
I don’t know what my life would BE like without this rowdy, laughing, slightly-urine-smelling house full of boys!
If you don’t have white carpet, or breakable things, or things that you are really really attached to, and if you like to have your heart broken with the sweetness that is a little boy kissing your cheek,
I recommend that you get some boys immediately!
And if you can’t, you are MORE THAN WELCOME to come and babysit mine!