Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Ramblings from a nap-skipper.

 

 

I’m trying to not nap today.

You see, I woke up this morning and it seems that my baby is, suddenly, 18.5 months old.

Although I have been there for every day of it, I honestly do not know how this happened.  I would be less shocked if he was 18 DAYS old, actually.

Because I’m pretty sure I am still postpartum?  And everyone should just applaude me for making it out of the house?  And shouldn’t someone still be bringing me meals??

 

Also, frankly, I deserve a nap!  I have done so many things today! So, so many things, I won’t go into them all here, but lets just say that if you were sitting on my couch right now and I told you all the things I have done so far today you would gasp!  And exclaim, “But friend!  You did too much!”

And I would stifle a sob, motion to my surroundings and say, “I know!  But apparently I didn’t DO ENOUGH!  Because the house looks like I haven’t gotten off the couch all day!  And the children are acting as if they haven’t been parented…ever.  I would compare them to feral children, except I’m pretty sure that wild dogs have a discipline system of some kind?”

Then I would lay my head on your shoulder, and ask you hopefully if you brought cookies?  And then you would say, I thought you were on a diet?” and I would sob again and you would rub my back gently.

After my self-pity-rainshower died down, you would steer me to my bed and I would protest “No nap today!  He’s 18 months old!” and you would say, “Shush!  He’s practically a newborn!”

And you would tuck me into my bed, and pull the covers up to my chin, and as you walked out and closed the door I would whisper, “That’s why she’s my best friend.”

 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

My dirty little secret

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Are you ready for it?

You guys, I have ants.

What, not as juicy as you would have liked?  I’m sorry!  I would like to have something interesting and shocking to reveal to you but I am way too busy keeping 3 children alive and…well…killing ants.

 

Its all I can think about.

I stand in the kitchen all day staring at the counters and waiting, paper towel in hand. 

I scan walls constantly.

There are ant traps scattered throughout the kitchen, which the ants are resolutely ignoring.  And don’t worry, they are out of reach of children.  Also, they are not toxic…I know this because I called poison control center a few years ago when ISAAC ATE SOME.  Which…maybe…explains…no! I won’t go there!

Also, I am cleaning and sweeping and vacuuming like a madwoman!! (mad woman? madwoman? whatever- ANTS!)

Even when I close my eyes- here let me try it….zzzzzzzzzzzz….whoops! Fell asleep!  But, guess what I saw right before?

 

 

There is really no point to this post.  So, I apologize for that as well.   Its just that, when I sit at the computer, it is all my fingers can type!  Ants! Ants! antsantsantsantsants!  I’m losing my MIIIIND!

 

Send help!

And wine coolers!

And a nanny!

Monday, April 7, 2014

…and my evening

 

 

After the cries at the park of “I’m SO SWEATY!  Can you die of being too HOT?!” (it was 70 degrees), the “DON’T THROW THAT BALL AT YOUR BROTHERS FACE OVER AND OVER!!” and the baby chewing on a feminine hygiene product he found in my purse.

But before the oops-looks-like-its-yogurt-for-dinner- tonight,
“Get your jammies on.  Get your jammies on.  Get your jammies on.  GET YOUR JAMMIES ON RIGHT NOW!!!”, and the “Mama, you forgot to give me a shower tonight, and maybe last night too?  And I’m feeling really sticky in my bed!”

There is a lull.  A calm.  A chance for me to take a deep breath for the last dive of child-rearing before bedtime. 

 

5:23 pm

Exhibit A:  Sink time

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Thank you, Brian, for discovering this weekend that he is old enough to do this!  It buys me some time to make dinner without him crying on my leg.  Or, in this case, it buys me time to take pictures and then serve everyone yogurt.

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(He’s not supposed to get the soap)

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Exhibit B:  Justice League fact-gathering.  He studies this book for HOURS a day.  (Please notice the blankies tucked under his arm.  I love six years old)

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Exhibit C:

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For many many reasons our darling middle child was in need of (and received) an early bedtime.  A good nights sleep and a fresh start tomorrow.  It is really what we all need, isn’t it?

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Scenes from my morning

 

 

Isaac and Samuel doing who knows what in the kitchen while I clean out the garage:

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These two are becoming friends.  Well…if your friends dangle you upside down over the side of the couch (“But he LIKES it, Mama!!”)

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“Does my face look grumpy, Mama?  Take a picture of my grumpy face.”

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“…and this cape too.”

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10:47  On our way to get Joseph.  This half-day Kindergarten thing is no biggie- its like he’s hardly gone!  I feel a lump in my throat even THINKING about 1st grade

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10:48 – Isaac showing me some litter he found, Samuel sneezing.

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The sweetest offerings- a cheerful bunch of sunny “flowers”  from Isaac.DSC_0119

 

And these little beauties that sprout up every spring next to the house.  They are cheerful stars in the morning, and then close up in the evening.  Kind of like me.

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The sun is warm today, the baby is taking a great nap (knock on wood!), and the boys played with the neighbor kids long enough for me to weed the entire front yard!

It’s a Happy Monday!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Isaac’s Rules for a Successful April Fools Trick

 

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1) Whatever you just said.

You tricked me by saying I have a hole in my shirt?  Well YOU my friend have a hole in YOUR shirt!

BOOJAH!

 

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2) “….on your face.”

Examples:  “There is a worm on your face!”

“There is a dinosaur on your face!”

Or, the most popular “You have a COMPUTER ON YOUR FACE!!”

 

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3)  There are no rules.  Everything is hilarious.  Especially if it is said multiple times all day long!  Enjoy yourself!!  Your momma is there to listen to your every word.  That’s what she’s here for.

 

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Early riser 3.0

 

This little squishy-face woke up at 4:30 this morning!

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  And while I was hoping he would yell “April Fools!” on the monitor and go back to sleep, it didn’t happen.

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If I make it through the day, it will only be through the grace and strength of God!

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Which is, now that I think about it, the way it is supposed to be.

Hmmmm…lesson learned, God!  Lets see how I do with 7:00 tomorrow, shall we?

 

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PS There’s a spider on your shirt!

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Did I get you?

Monday, March 31, 2014

“Brian, can you take a picture of me with the boys?”

 

The perfect documentation of my life with three small boys on March 23rd, 2014.

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