Tuesday, April 14, 2009




One of the biggest problems Brian and I face in our marriage is communication.

He is very analytically minded (aka NERD ALERT!) and I am very, well, we’ll call it emotionally driven, because that sounds nice.

Plus, let’s face it, I know WAY more words than he does, and he often uses the words that he does know incorrectly.

He can write computer code like a champ, but in conversation, I leave him in the dust!

We will often have entire fights that end up being driven by a simple miscommunication; such as the incorrect usage of the word “a-hole.”

Hmmm…not the best example, perhaps.

Here is a miscommunication that has been going on for weeks, that we finally worked out on Saturday.

Seriously, weeks.


Brian got some liquid attractant to re-apply in our hornet traps.

Brian:  “All I need now is a cotton swab.  Do we have any?”

Me:  “You mean like a Q-tip?”  (Because that is what is usually called a “Cotton Swab.”  Are you with me?)

Brian:  “No, like one of those things that is bigger than a Q-tip, with more cotton on it.”

Me:  “Oh.  I know what you mean.  No, we don’t have any of those swabs.”

(From this point on, I assume that he is speaking of those jumbo-sized Q-tips with extra cotton on the end, like they use for Throat Cultures.  Because that is bigger than a Q-tip and has more cotton on the end)

A week or so later…

Brian:  “Have you gotten any of those big cotton swabs?”

Me:  “Nope, I haven’t been anywhere that carries them.”

REPEAT for another week or two, during which time I check every time I am in a store for the Jumbo Throat-Culture Swabs.

Finally, on Saturday:

Brian:  “I really have to get one of those big cotton swabs.  Have you gotten one yet?”

Me (getting defensive and emotional):  “No!  I have no idea where to find one of those!  You’ll have to go find one.”

Brian (getting defensive in response) : “What do you mean?!  You can get them at Target, Winco, anywhere!  Don’t girls use them to take off make-up all the time?”

Me:  “What??  No!  I would have to make a special trip to a drugstore or something.  Why don’t you just tape 2 Q-tips together?”  (Thus making a long cotton swab, yes?)

Brian:  “What?  That wouldn’t work at all!  I need a lot more cotton than that.  I need like a BIG SQUARE PILLOW OF COTTON.”


Me:  “Wait, what are we talking about here.”

Brian:  “You know, like one of those big pillows of cotton.  That’s what I need.”

Silence as I stare at him.

Me:  “You mean like a COTTON BALL?”

Brian:  “Yeah, a cotton ball.  What did I call it?”

Me: “You called it a swab!  We have some cotton BALLS in the bathroom cabinet.”

Brian (cheerfully):  “GREAT!”

He trots off happily to get the COTTON BALLS and finally finishes his project.

I rest my case.


suzy said...

ha!!!! this was one of my fave entries yet... i folowed you rationale completely. Isn't it funny how we speak pink language and they speak blue? I can say something and it means the opposite to Nathan. (i.e. If I say, "I have nothing to wear" - I mean "I have nothing NEW to wear." If he says, "I have nothing to wear," he means, "I have nothing CLEAN to wear." ha!

Mommy of M's said...

OMG, I am at my desk laughing so hard I have tears!! TEARS!

Wow, that is some funny stuff right there!

Princess Caitlin said...

Baha! thanks for the laugh. :D
God bless you and your awesome family miscommunications and all.

Jenners said...

This was sooooooo funny.

Aileigh said...

Hehehe! Sounds like a conversation in my house! :)