One of the biggest problems Brian and I face in our marriage is communication.
He is very analytically minded (aka NERD ALERT!) and I am very, well, we’ll call it emotionally driven, because that sounds nice.
Plus, let’s face it, I know WAY more words than he does, and he often uses the words that he does know incorrectly.
He can write computer code like a champ, but in conversation, I leave him in the dust!
We will often have entire fights that end up being driven by a simple miscommunication; such as the incorrect usage of the word “a-hole.”
Hmmm…not the best example, perhaps.
Here is a miscommunication that has been going on for weeks, that we finally worked out on Saturday.
Brian got some liquid attractant to re-apply in our hornet traps.
Brian: “All I need now is a cotton swab. Do we have any?”
Me: “You mean like a Q-tip?” (Because that is what is usually called a “Cotton Swab.” Are you with me?)
Brian: “No, like one of those things that is bigger than a Q-tip, with more cotton on it.”
Me: “Oh. I know what you mean. No, we don’t have any of those swabs.”
(From this point on, I assume that he is speaking of those jumbo-sized Q-tips with extra cotton on the end, like they use for Throat Cultures. Because that is bigger than a Q-tip and has more cotton on the end)
A week or so later…
Brian: “Have you gotten any of those big cotton swabs?”
Me: “Nope, I haven’t been anywhere that carries them.”
REPEAT for another week or two, during which time I check every time I am in a store for the Jumbo Throat-Culture Swabs.
Finally, on Saturday:
Brian: “I really have to get one of those big cotton swabs. Have you gotten one yet?”
Me (getting defensive and emotional): “No! I have no idea where to find one of those! You’ll have to go find one.”
Brian (getting defensive in response) : “What do you mean?! You can get them at Target, Winco, anywhere! Don’t girls use them to take off make-up all the time?”
Me: “What?? No! I would have to make a special trip to a drugstore or something. Why don’t you just tape 2 Q-tips together?” (Thus making a long cotton swab, yes?)
Brian: “What? That wouldn’t work at all! I need a lot more cotton than that. I need like a BIG SQUARE PILLOW OF COTTON.”
Me: “Wait, what are we talking about here.”
Brian: “You know, like one of those big pillows of cotton. That’s what I need.”
Silence as I stare at him.
Me: “You mean like a COTTON BALL?”
Brian: “Yeah, a cotton ball. What did I call it?”
Me: “You called it a swab! We have some cotton BALLS in the bathroom cabinet.”
Brian (cheerfully): “GREAT!”
He trots off happily to get the COTTON BALLS and finally finishes his project.
I rest my case.