Thursday, April 23, 2009

Adventures at the Walmart Optical Center

 

 

I am back in contacts!! 

Well, I have 3 more trial pairs left (once-a-days) and then two weeks in glasses while Walmart orders more, but THEN I am back in contacts!

The world is so clear!  So big!  So rim-free!

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And, boy, do I have a story to tell.

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I decided to go to the Walmart Optical Department to get my new patient exam and contacts.

Because Walmart = cheap.

You get what you pay for, I suppose.

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So, I walked in and said, “Hello!  I have a 6:00…”

Sit down here.”  The receptionist lady interrupted.

And handed me my paper work.

Okie dokie, then.

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I was filling out my paper work when I heard one of the office managers/optical assistants (?) say, “Oh, S**T!”

Classy.

What?”  asked the other lady.

I forgot that I can’t take this laundry detergent home because I drove my scooter to work.”

Oh man, ain’t you got a basket or nothin’?”

No.   S**T.”

Clearly, these two were professionals. 

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The one with the excellent grammar led me back into an exam room of some kind.

Let me note that she was COVERED in macabre tattoos and had a ginormous fake flower stuck in her hair.  A little contradictory, but whatev.

“Put your head here.” she stated blandly.

I looked into a machine at a picture that kept going in focus and out of focus.  Checking my eyes for something.

Now this one.”

I moved to another machine where I gazed at a multi-colored flashing light.

Just then, a little voice in my head said, “Wait a minute, Caitlin, isn’t this the one that…”

WHAMO!

My eyes were blasted with a stream of air.

Wasn’t she going to warn me?!!

You know, “This one is going to puff some air in your eyes so don’t get startled and fly back in your wheely chair clear across the room!”

I had to roll myself back to machine-of-doom from across the hall and face round two of air puffing.

I was blinking and jerking around like a crazy person.

Don’t blink.” she ordered.

“Umm…okay.”  I stammered.

And continued to blink frantically.

It took her 3 tries to puff air into my terrified eyeball.

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She led me into a room to wait for the doctor, while she and the other assistant continued their foul language-ridden conversation down the hall.

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The doctor seemed nice enough and got right down to business.

After the exam, he took me into another room to try out some contacts.

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It was taking me a while to get those puppies to stay in my eyes, and I started feeling embarrassed.

Oops!”  I giggled awkwardly, “Why can’t I get these into my eyes?”

I don’t know.”  Stated the Doctor.  Deadpan.

AWKWARD!

Don’t you think that MAYBE it’s because I haven’t worn contacts in two years?

I started hating him.

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He continued to write on his clipboard for a while, then sighed loudly, put down his pen and said, “Here.”

While he

Grabbed

the

contact

and

stuck

it

in

my

eye.

Without washing his hands or anything!!!!

Disgusting!

I was in shock and didn’t know what to do with my face.

Smile?

Cry?

Grimace?

Grab his arm and firmly explain to him about little things called GERMS?

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I just kept thinking, “Oh man, I can’t wait to blog about this.”

My follow up appointment is next week…

 

 

11 comments:

Aileigh said...

You had me at Walmart... Optical Center and our family don't mix. Our Walmart doesn't have set hours for their center. I called one day and asked how late they would be open. 7pm. I showed up at about 5 after 6 (ya know cause I work and can't get there any earlier) and the staff had just clocked out and was leaving. When I questioned them about they just shrugged and went on home! I HATE WALMART!!!

Mommy of M's said...

Oh, I love Walmart, but you soo get what you pay for!!

I hate that air puff thing, my dr doesn't even try anymore. He gave up a few years ago, after 15 min, I was a nervous, sweaty mess, and they still hadn't got it!

T Rex Mom said...

So funny!

Also funny that I had my annual eye exam yesterday too! No puffing air thing, though.

Can't wait to see you "rimless"!

Jenners said...

This was soooooo funny! And now I know NEVER to go to Wal-Mart for my eye exams ... but then, I knew that. Somethings -- like your very precious eyes -- should NOT be handled at Wal-Mart, Missy! Eyes = splurge time. Hope you don't go blind with all the germs you might have ... we need you to blog! : )

Oh...and I am CANNOT do that puff air test. I have a pass from my eye doctor (written in my chart and everything). There IS another test they can do ... involves dilation. ; )

Rachel said...

Yes, you do get what you pay for!

Nina said...

I hate Walmart, love the prices but hate Walmart. I am sorry but they do not hire the best of people sometimes and I wonder where they find some of them. I am not saying they are all bad, heck my mother-in-law works at Walmart but I never get the good help.

I would have freaked if he would have touched my eye.

Nina said...

Oh good luck with the follow up.

Princess Caitlin said...

AAAUGH! tramatic!
Provided, I did laugh... But still.

We use the Optical Center at our wal mart. One lady is kinda gruff, but not like that. The doctor takes his time with his work, but he's really nice.

Poor you!
But welcome back to the world of contacts!! ;-)

caitlinw148 said...

Wow, so i was just on google looking for a number to walmart's optical center and i came across your page. Too funny. At least we spell our name the RIGHT way =)

jazzcatjt said...

Caitlin,
Hi. I loved this blog. I went to the Walmart optical center for new glasses this morning after a horrible experience at Dr. Bizer's Vision World two years ago. The staff was both professional & friendly. I had a good experience and would go back.
I agree with the comments others made on the air puff test. I hate it as well, but the girl who adminstered it understood and walked me through every step, even though I had this test in the past.
I find the majority of employees unfriendly or rude and I'm sure Sam Walton is turning over in his grave.

Derrick Sly said...

I remember the first time I got my contacts put in. The doctor did it for me. I was like "get your fingers out of my eye!" It freaked me out. I can do it now just fine, though.
http://baysideeyecentre.com