This is what a typical trip to the mall for me includes.
I am reluctant to admit it...
Me: Going into Sees Candies.
Sees Lady: "Welcome to Sees Candies, would you like a free sample?"
Me: (pretending to be surprised. I don't know why, but I always do!)
"Oh! Yes, please!"
Sees Lady: "Okay, today's candy is Blah Blah Blah deliciousness."
Me: "Oh Great!"
Sees Lady: "Would you like one for your baby."
Me: (Thinking: What kind of an idiot mother would give their baby a mocha almond truffle?!)
Saying: "Oh, yes please!!"
Me Again: "Oh Joseph, look what you get to have after your lunch!"
At this point, I usually make some excuse and leave. Sometimes, if I am feeling extra ashamed, I will buy the cheapest thing that they have.
I get around the corner.
And eat Joseph's free truffle.
Most embarrassing though
is that, if they don't offer to give Joseph a free sample,
I ask if my baby can have one.
So that I can eat it.
There, I said it.