On Thursday I went to get him out of his crib and he was a furnace.
Burning head on my shoulder, sweaty hands in my hair, and bright eyes glassy.
The thermometer read 104.7
For hours we sat in the rocking chair, me sponging his head with a washcloth, him staring off into space and dozing.
And I felt…well…nauseous actually. Rocking for hours will do that to you, as will the gut-twisting worry that comes with your kids being sick.
But also, my heart was singing.
“Yes! This!” it sang. “THIS is why you push through the hundreds of days at home with your babies. THESE hours of rocking and soothing and comforting. He needs you and here you are. Filled with the peace of knowing that THIS is the only place that you need to be!”
These affirming moments can be few and far between.
While 95% of the time being a stay-at-home mom is freeing and affirming and meaningful, the other 5% of the time…well…I don’t want to say that you feel like your soul is being sucked out of your body with the boredom and monotony of it all, but WHOOPS! Looks like I just said it.
So, in case this heart-singing moment fades, I am leaving a message to myself:
Dear future Caitlin-of-the-booger-smeared-yoga-pants who is in the middle of a laundry-dishes-timeouts-bodilyfluids kind of monday-tuesday-wednesday-thursday-friday,
You are doing important work.