A friend of mine pointed out today that I haven’t done any haikus on my blog in quite some time. And she’s right!
I, for one, feel that there aren’t enough haikus fluttering around in this harsh world; and my blog has been Haiku-free long enough!
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So, that got me to thinking; “What should I write a haiku about?”
I thought, and I thought, and then I blinked too long and almost fell asleep.
“Woah, Nelly!” I mumble, “Time for a cup of coffee!”
About that time, the fetus knees me in the cervix.
“Drat! I seem to be pregnant!"
Which means no afternoon coffee for me.
And, thus, Haiku #1 was born:
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ODE TO AFTERNOON COFFEE
Oh, how I miss you,
Reduced birth-weight sounds just great!
My guilt holds me back.
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“There,” I thought, “Mission accomplished!”
And then I burped up some vomit.
Bile in your mouth: An unfortunate side effect of chronic heartburn.
“Sounds like a haiku!” you say?
I couldn’t agree more.
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BURNING IN MY HEART (Alternatively titled: WHY, GOD, WHY??)
My throat is aflame,
This kid had better have hair!
I hate stomach bile.
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After several minutes of contemplation, I have yet to decide if “bile” is one syllable or two.
I’m voting for one.
And you really shouldn’t argue with a chick who tastes vomit all day.
6 comments:
ah, just wait you'll be writing haikus during labor too!
you are just too much!
You're too funny! Love these :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was having the worst morning and the second I got to work I checked your blog and these wonderful haikus perked me right up(Along with my huge cup of coffee). I was laughing so hard!
Bile is one syllable. Yes.
And these are classic. I'm almost 100% sure these topics have never been covered in haiku before! BRAVO!
My lattes were what I missed the most!
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