Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Haikus for you(s)

A friend of mine pointed out today that I haven’t done any haikus on my blog in quite some time.  And she’s right!

I, for one, feel that there aren’t enough haikus fluttering around in this harsh world; and my blog has been Haiku-free long enough!

.

So, that got me to thinking; “What should I write a haiku about?”

I thought, and I thought, and then I blinked too long and almost fell asleep.

Woah, Nelly!”  I mumble, “Time for a cup of coffee!”

About that time, the fetus knees me in the cervix.

Drat!  I seem to be pregnant!"

Which means no afternoon coffee for me.

And, thus, Haiku #1 was born:

.

ODE TO AFTERNOON COFFEE

Oh, how I miss you,

Reduced birth-weight sounds just great!

My guilt holds me back.

.

There,” I thought, “Mission accomplished!”

And then I burped up some vomit.

Bile in your mouth: An unfortunate side effect of chronic heartburn.

“Sounds like a haiku!” you say?

I couldn’t agree more.

.

BURNING IN MY HEART   (Alternatively titled: WHY, GOD, WHY??)

My throat is aflame,

This kid had better have hair!

I hate stomach bile.

.

After several minutes of contemplation, I have yet to decide if “bile” is one syllable or two. 

I’m voting for one.

And you really shouldn’t argue with a chick who tastes vomit all day.

6 comments:

Ter said...

ah, just wait you'll be writing haikus during labor too!

Jen said...

you are just too much!

septembermom said...

You're too funny! Love these :)

britney said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was having the worst morning and the second I got to work I checked your blog and these wonderful haikus perked me right up(Along with my huge cup of coffee). I was laughing so hard!

Jenners said...

Bile is one syllable. Yes.

And these are classic. I'm almost 100% sure these topics have never been covered in haiku before! BRAVO!

Kristin said...

My lattes were what I missed the most!