(Picture by Joseph. He loves me.)
I was watching a movie the other night (while Brian snored romantically on the couch beside me) and in one scene, the characters were going around the room, listing something they were good at.
One of the characters said, “I’m a good mother.”
And my first thought was, “I wish I was a good mother.”
(Record screeches to a halt)
“Where did that come from, Caitlin?” I thought.
So I decided to dig a little deeper.
I KNOW that I must be a good mother. I am. I am one!
My kids are happy, my house is livable, I take my kids on outings and do activities and make my own bread for goodness sake!
So then why don’t I feel it?
Why does motherhood, which I think must be the hardest job in the WORLD (if there is one harder, I can’t do it), also have be the job with the least amount of affirmation? Where is my mid-year review? My bonus? My pat on the back?
I paused the movie, and thought some more. (Brian, aren’t you glad you slept through this?)
What would make me feel like a good mother?
Seriously, what would I have to do to prove to myself that I am doing a decent job.
This is what I came up with:
- Keep a very clean house
- Play with my children
- Serve them nutritious meals
- Teach them to use their imaginations on their own
- Manners, manners, manners
- Never let laundry pile up so that their favorite clothes are ready
- Clean sheets every week
- Craft time daily
- Mama-taught school time daily
- Outings for education
- Outings for expending energy
- Set routine
- Not have to drag them on errands
- Sing to them
- Less tv
- More patience
- Lots more books
Wow. If those are my expectations of myself, I might as well quit now.
It is a miracle that I have felt like a good mother for one day in my life with those impossible standards!
So, I have decided to cut myself some slack, and I think you should too.
Let’s lower our expectations, mothers!
There is no prize for being perfect!!
How about giving our kids clean sheets…every time they wet the bed!
Or not losing our patience…more than twice a day!
So what if our kid forgets to say thank you sometimes? At least he isn’t hitting…strangers!
Let’s be happy with doing less.
Let’s accept that we are human, and that this is our life that we are living too.
I am an imperfect mother, but I love my children.
I LOVE MY CHILDREN!
And that is good enough.