Friday, August 26, 2011

I(personally)RENE towards excitability

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(With a few random pictures to lighten the dooms-day mood a bit)

So have you guys heard about this hurricane thing heading our way?  Yep- a SEVERE threat of Hurricane Irene and there is my little house right in the bright red danger zone area.

Well I didn’t actually hear about it until last night.

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There I was, checking a celebrity gossip site before bed (don’t judge), when lo and behold, there was an article about how Sarah Jessica Parker is preparing for the hurricane.

I just about choked on my toothbrush, I tell ya, because any celebrity gossip fan worth their salt knows that SJP lives in New York City!!  Hold up!

So, I quickly got onto a weather site and there it was- lock down the hatches people, here comes the big one!  NJ is in a state of disaster ahead of time!  NY too!  Residents should be in the FINAL PREPARATIONS for the hurricane!!!!

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You could pretty much say that celebrity gossip saved my life.

It has also saved my children’s lives on a few occasions (“Mama needs a quick time out to escape reality!”) but that is perhaps for a different post.

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Anyhow, I woke Brian up to tell him about the hurricane (he loves it when I do that) and then I proceeded to lie next to him in bed for the next hour making mental lists of non-perishable food items that I needed at Target.

I determined to be there when it opened.

Isaac, in his crib, smiled and determined to thwart my little plan.

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This morning, while I was on the phone whipping my friend up into a hurricane-induced-frenzy (Hi Suzy!) (EXTEME threat people!)  Isie-poo (I call him that sometimes) threw my glass coffee canister onto our kitchen floor and shattered it.

And immediately after I finished cleaning that up, he ran back into the kitchen, grabbed the canister lid that I had (why? why?) left still sitting on the counter, and threw IT onto our kitchen floor.

When I finished cleaning THAT up and was texting my friend (hi again suzy!) and Brian what had just happened (misery loves company!) the poor motherless-lamb squirted himself in the face with Windex!

I was securing the Windex in a more child-proofed location and he spilt my cup of (cool) coffee on himself!

I stripped him naked and was mopping up the coffee mess when he…can you guess, readers?

Did you guess that he peed all over our shoe basket in the entryway?  Because you would be RIGHT!

I can’t make this up.

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I will say that I kept my cool amazing well, I was able to laugh, I lost 3 pounds in stress-sweat, and I managed to not shriek at them “I AM TRYING TO GET US PREPARED FOR A HURRICANE PEOPLE!!!!!”

So score one for Caitlin.

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We pulled into Target 30 minutes after it opened and it was a Mad House.

A sign on the door said that they were already out of flashlights and D batteries.

Which made me immediately realize that we needed 100 D batteries and 5 flashlights!  AHHHH!  Run around in circles!

(Told you I am excitable)

I walked briskly to the water aisle and put two 24 packs of water bottles in my cart.

About 5 minutes later they announced that they were out of water.  AHHHH!!! I need more water!!!

I got plenty (did I? DID I??) of crackers, cereal bars, and the like, and 2 extra candle lighters plus about 5 of those religious candles with pictures of the saints and stuff on them?  Are you with me?  Because they were cheap and TARGET RAN OUT OF ALL OF THEIR CANDLES.

Clearly the world is coming to an end!

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I finally left because I ran out of room in my cart, and because my children were both crying despite my distracted attempts to throw M&Ms into their mouths. 

And I spent the whole way home thinking-  shoooooot!  I should have gotten 4 more candle lighters!  Or at least 2!  And I should have cleared the shelves of the religious candles!  Why didn’t I?  Do we have enough food?  Have I failed my family?

D batteries!  MUST FIND D BATTERIES!!

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So, make that 15 pounds of stress sweat.

What a day to forget to wear deodorant. (TMI?)

This weather panic is contagious I tell you!

And I have now given you my germs.

(Achoo!)

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PS  I am also hoping that those people who asked me if the store was out of water while eyeing my two packages of water bottles were NOT angels testing me for my generosity.  Because I did not share.

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PPS  I came home to find that we actually have D batteries.  Whoopsy.

6 comments:

ter@waaoms said...

I wish I had your knack for finding humor in any situation!! Glad you're still safe and blogging! :)

T Rex Mom said...

Thank you for sharing this story. It makes "the poop tracked and smeared through our house as Colleen is pulling into the drive way to go swimming with us" seem so not a big deal.

And it seems to always happen at once because then a little helper opened the hand sanitizer without me knowing it and our lunch was nice and sterile.

People often joke at us and our preparations but it's to avoid the mad rush to Target. See, that dry milk comes in handy once in a while. Alas, no hurricanes will ever hit here but one never knows what could happen and when.

P.S. Katie posted the link to your bread recipe on FB. So cool that I saw it and recognized it was you.

suzy said...

ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE this post... Poor Isaac. If only I hadn't been distracting you. poor lil dude. you definitely needed all 48 of those bottles of water. without a doubt.

suzy said...

p.s. are brian and joseph actively intrigued in a costume catalog? or is that a book in disguise? ha

Caitlin said...

It is DEFINITELY a costume catalog! And Joseph's preferred reading for the past several weeks!

Jenners said...

"Celebrity gossip may have saved my life." Totally justifies subscriptions to USWeekly, OK, In Touch Weekly, People and any other celebrity gossip magazine out there. Wasn't it nuts how people cleaned out the store?