At this stage in the game, it is easy to think of things that I won’t miss about being pregnant. (Foot in the ribs anyone? How about a niiiice poke in your cervix… from the inside?)
So, I decided to come up with a list of the things that I WILL miss- just to help carry me through.
1) Maternity pants.
Seriously, why aren’t all pants topped with elastic? We don’t put zippers and snaps on our underwear, we don’t put zippers and snaps on our favorite sweatpants, so why do we torture ourselves with zipper and snap jeans?
I say that designers should start making stylish, elastic top jeans.
And then we can buy them, and wear them, and be comfortable yet trendy.
2) I have forgotten the phrase “Suck it in.”
3) What’s that doctor? You want me to GAIN weight? You naughty thing you! Let me just swing by Krispy Kreme on my way home…
4) My actions are excusable. I’m crying for no reason? Well, that’s because I’m pregnant.
I’m acting unreasonable? Pregnant.
I want you to go out to get me Wendy’s at 9:30pm? Well…pregnant.
And who’s going to argue with the pregnant chick?
5) Stretch marks are socially acceptable.
6) You get to know so many things about complete strangers and their childbirth experiences.
When else will the checker at Target launch into a horror story about pushing out her 10.5 lb. baby who was a month late and broke her tailbone?
Oh yes, there is no more, “Did you find everything okay?” for me.
It’s ripping and emergencies and episiotomies, and labors that last for weeks on end… It really spices up the normal hum-drum errands.
7) I haven’t gotten my own grocery cart, loaded any heavy items, or held a door in months.
8) The life-affirmation.
I live in an area that has a high concentration of a certain religious group. (*Cough* Rhymes with Shmormon.*Cough*) So, people are very supportive and encouraging of our choice to have lots of kids at a young age, and to have me stay home to raise them.
I know, the stereotypes abound in this one, but there you have it. They love me, man.
9) The huge belly detracts from my abnormally round cheeks.
10) The experience of feeling my baby move. Especially if I am sitting in a crowded room, and everyone is walking around and talking, and I am the only one who knows that I am feeling life move inside my very own belly! Miraculous!
But, mostly the maternity jeans…