Anonymous asked me: “What are your dreams for your boys?”
My biggest dream for my boys is that they will be happy.
Of course I have a lot of sub-dream-specifics, like I hope they are successful in their field of work, that they are Godly men, that they find wonderful women, make me beautiful grandbabies, and live right down the street!
But, mostly, that is just because I think those things would make them happiest.
If Joseph decides that he wants to be the guy that I saw outside our apartment yesterday whose job was to empty out the porta-potty? Because maybe it has great benefits and he gets more time to work on his golf swing? Then go for it Joseph! If they are happy, I’m happy.
Also, I would like for them to never ever grow up!
But mostly to be happy.
Lisa (my wonderful sister-in-law) asks:
What are the best and worst traits that motherhood and wife- hood have brought out in you?
Oooh! Good one! I am going to tackle motherhood first.
BEST: It has made me infinitely more selfless.
When I think of all of the time I had before kids to do whatever the heck I wanted? WOWZA! So much time to better myself and pursue my hobbies and watch shows that didn’t involve talking animals!
Having children has made me have to put someone else first. All. The. Time.
Even when I am away from them, I am thinking of them and wondering if they are sad? warm enough? taking their vitamins?
It is an exhausting and beautiful thing. I am truly a much better person for having my children.
Funny because I just had to stop writing that post about how selfless I am to go into the boys’ room to comfort Isaac and give him a “Big Hug.” Also he had ripped off almost every flap from his Blues Clues book. But I didn’t even mind because I am seeeeelflessss! (actually I told him “No more calling Mama!”)
WORST: I am a bit controlling. I think it is because the kids are my business, all day every day, so it is hard for me to step back when someone else (*cough* Brian!) comes into my zone.
I have to bite my tongue from saying “Why are you feeding them that? Where is their vegetable? Why are you giving them water? Did you take Joseph to the potty before bed?!” etc. etc. etc.
Except I don’t really bite my tongue that well. Whatever, that’s why it is my WORSE trait.
BEST: I have to accept that my way is not always the best way. I am not always right. Sometimes my spouse has a better idea, or a better plan, or is correct in assuming that I just need a good night’s sleep to see things clearer.
It has been a struggle to come to this conclusion, but I am the better for it! Not only do I have a partner in life, I have someone to bounce ideas off of and to plan my future with who isn’t just along for the ride! It makes things a lot more exciting.
WORST: Sometimes it is hard for me to continue to be selfless in my time with Brian. After wrangling the kids all day, sometimes all I want to do is sit on the couch with my OWN bowl of popcorn and watch Sister Wives or The Notebook or Twilight! And Brian, very reasonably, wants to share the popcorn and watch something together.
So, I find that I am still struggling with being selfish in our time together, because it is so often also my free time. I’m working on it!