Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Life is a warm towel

 

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To say that I am stressed right now seems…unnecessary. 

So many things are up in the air right now, and I do NOT do well with up-in-the-air.

Details and to do lists are swimming in my head.

I am nauseous for the first half of every day, and as one last little punch in the gut from New Jersey, I am getting sick- AGAIN.

Also, it turns out, it is tricky and awkward to say goodbye to people that you know you don’t care enough about to ever see again.

  How do you say to someone “It’s been good- have a nice life?”  I find myself offering up desperate scraps of hope to ease the blow – “We’ll stay in touch” and the like.  When I’m not going to.  At all!

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In the midst of this transitional whirlwind, I am thankful that my children are oblivious.

Obliviously happy!

They know that we are moving (on some level for Isaac,but Joseph gets it), they are happy about it, but other than that it is life as usual.

Joseph prattles on about Lego Ninjas and I want to shout- “We don’t have a place to LIIIIIVE!  Joseph!  I don’t care about Ninjas!  I care about how many moving boxes I should order and what forwarding address I should give our insurance!”

I bite my tongue, smile, and nod.  ‘Ooooh! Ninjas!’  My face says.

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I serve up cereal and try not to let them see me gag.  Masking it with small talk about our day when all I want to do is curl up back in bed.

I say a silent prayer “Please help them hang on with grumpy Mama for just a little bit longer.  We are so close!”

and they smile and give me kisses, and snuggle down in the beanbag with some fresh-from-the dryer warm towels.

They are happy!

I am working on it- both their happiness and my own.

But how can my heart not ache with love and contentment when I see these two darling faces?

Even when it is hard, life can be filled with joy if you look for it.  Joy and humor and warmth and comfort and love! 

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Life is a warm towel, folks.

And I’m almost ready to climb in.

6 comments:

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Hang in there. Good things are ahead (and a lot less nausea).

ter@waaoms said...

I wonder if Joseph thinks you're moving back to the hotel??

And I understand the stress you're having, but if I know anything about you, I know you will plunge through it, Caitlin-style. :)

grandma said...

I also love a warm towel!! Opening the dishwasher right after it runs and feeling that warm rush of hot, moist air is the BEST, but a warm towel is a close second. I will try to have some ready for you next week, little mama.

T Rex Mom said...

We once sold our house and needed to be out in 2 weeks. We had no idea where we were going to give and needed to find a rental house. It was a bit stressful. It will work out. You have lots of family that will happily put you up so you can find what you want. I think what's great is how everything is falling into place so you can be close to family, add a new member to the family, and you will start to feel better soon, too.

Curious, though, more or less nausea than last times?

Is there a particular reason you're heading back to Oregon so quickly? Does Brian start right away or you just don't want the kids around for packing/moving? Regardless, it will all work out. Truly.

Jenners said...

If anyone deserves a nice long nap in a warm towel, it is you.

I"m sure this is a very very stressful for you. Don't worry about saying goodbye to people you don't like AT ALL.

The kids will barely remember any of this so don't stress over that.

Do what you can and take care of yourself and the little one inside. You'll get through it eventually. You are CAITLIN!

kisatrtle said...

Keep holding strong!