To say that I am stressed right now seems…unnecessary.
So many things are up in the air right now, and I do NOT do well with up-in-the-air.
Details and to do lists are swimming in my head.
I am nauseous for the first half of every day, and as one last little punch in the gut from New Jersey, I am getting sick- AGAIN.
Also, it turns out, it is tricky and awkward to say goodbye to people that you know you don’t care enough about to ever see again.
How do you say to someone “It’s been good- have a nice life?” I find myself offering up desperate scraps of hope to ease the blow – “We’ll stay in touch” and the like. When I’m not going to. At all!
In the midst of this transitional whirlwind, I am thankful that my children are oblivious.
They know that we are moving (on some level for Isaac,but Joseph gets it), they are happy about it, but other than that it is life as usual.
Joseph prattles on about Lego Ninjas and I want to shout- “We don’t have a place to LIIIIIVE! Joseph! I don’t care about Ninjas! I care about how many moving boxes I should order and what forwarding address I should give our insurance!”
I bite my tongue, smile, and nod. ‘Ooooh! Ninjas!’ My face says.
I serve up cereal and try not to let them see me gag. Masking it with small talk about our day when all I want to do is curl up back in bed.
I say a silent prayer “Please help them hang on with grumpy Mama for just a little bit longer. We are so close!”
and they smile and give me kisses, and snuggle down in the beanbag with some fresh-from-the dryer warm towels.
They are happy!
I am working on it- both their happiness and my own.
But how can my heart not ache with love and contentment when I see these two darling faces?
Even when it is hard, life can be filled with joy if you look for it. Joy and humor and warmth and comfort and love!
Life is a warm towel, folks.
And I’m almost ready to climb in.