This is how it goes.

 

A bit ramble-y, I apologize.

“Caitlin?  Is that you?”

.

Me (turning around and immediately sucking it in before realizing that I don’t have to anymore.  Hellooo free 9 month pot-belly pass!): “Oh (fill in the blank) so good to see you!”

.

Them: “Oh! You’re pregnant?  Is it your first?”

.

Me: “No… its our third actually!”

.

Them: (some sound/exclamation of amazement) “THREE KIDS!!”

(Note: my sister also gets this all the time, but she has SEVEN, so I think it is much more deserved.  In fact,sorry sis, I wanted to gasp a little when I just typed “seven”)

Me:  “Yeah…”

.

I know that nobody means anything by it.  They don’t mean to be judgmental or critical- they are just genuinely surprised!  I would be!  Heck, I AM! 

And yet, I am a people pleaser/afraid of criticism, and for whatever reason, I feel the need to explain/defend why I am having my 3rd kid at the ripe old age of 27.

.

(remind me to tell you a funny story about how Brian thought I was 26 and it convinced me that Yes, YES, I AM 26 for quite a few minutes!  And that my heart sank a little when I realized that, nope, its 27.)

(Well, actually, that’s the whole story)

.

But what can I really say about this here #3 I’m cookin’?

Let’s discus the options, because- friends- Caitlin is a bit rusty and socially awkward from New Jersey and I have used them all.

.

1) “Whoopsy-doopsy!” 

Pros: It implies that maybe I didn’t MEAN to get saddled up with all of these kids so soon.  That maybe I WOULD be continuing with some…humanitarian work?…had I not been impregnated (gross, sorry dad) three times in 4 years.  

Cons: It makes me look like an idiot who failed at using birth control three times in four years.

.

2)  “Well, you know how it goes!”

Pros: A quick out and subject change

Cons: I don’t know how it goes.

.

3)  “Haha!  Well, once you have one, you just kind of have to keep going!”

Pros: It also sounds like this whole producing-multiple-children thing was vaguely out of my control.  Maybe I chose to have one, but from there (throws hands up in despair) what could I do?  It was out of my hands! 

 

Cons: You shouldn’t have more children just to give your existing children siblings.

Although, to be honest, it is probably mostly the reason I keep having them.  It sure isn’t because they are easy, or help my figure.

.

. 

At this point I also admit that I have been married for almost seven years, that I married yes, Brian from high school, and that I dropped out of college to do so.

And that I haven’t worked in 4.5 years.

Then, I ask them about their life and try to make some witty or knowledgeable responses.

Basically, I am a few seconds away from throwing myself at their feet and begging them to agree that

I am interesting!

I have a brain!

I am NOT as boring as this whole child-bride-baby-making-thing makes me sound!!!!! 

WAAAAAAHHH!! I used to be FUUUUUUUN!!!

And…scene.

 

 

(18 weeks)