Trimming the Tree

(Joseph’s reaction to discovering our Darth Vader ornament)

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Let me start out by saying that decorating the Christmas tree used to be one of my favorite things to do!

(Doesn’t everyone trim the tree while holding a blankie and a windmill?)

(or a Santa hat and a sword?)

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And now Joseph says that it was his favorite thing he did in a long long long long time, while I…well…I would like to sign up for childbirth or a colonoscopy before I do that again.

First of all, this tree is the pokiest tree known to man.

I recently had a flu shot, and this tree, if it barely grazes your skin, hurts worse that a hundred flu shots.

See?

See my face of pain?  Would I make that face for nothing?

(And a little treat for Brian…)

Secondly, even though I bought some kid-friendly ornaments (read:non-breakable) from Target to occupy Isaac, all he wanted were the “Balls!” “Balls!” '”Balls!!!” A wee bit stressful for anyone who might want to see those “Balls” again.

(Yes, he is licking the ball)

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And Joseph would barely balance the hook on the last needle of the branch (probably afraid of being harpooned by our Tree of Pain), which meant that I literally caught a few of the balls on their way to the ground.

Lastly, Isaac is a little…physical.  He thinks that, if you are on the ground, you are free game to be tackled/karate chopped/stomped on/jumped on.

Are you ready for my favorite picture in a looooong time?  It is terrible  of me, but it really sums up my feelings towards Isaac…

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Haha!  Can’t you just see an “ISAAAC!!” thought bubble above my head?

So, there was some laughter,

 

and some tears,

 

but all in all I think I gave the boys a good memory.

(Joseph kept saying that all of the ornaments were “beauties”)

You know, until they FORGET IT ALL BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL TOO YOUNG AND WON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING I’VE DONE FOR THEM SO FAR!

But, whatever.  I didn’t become a mother for the accolades.  Just so that I could retire at 22 years old!

Our Decorating Time O’Fun ended when Isaac grabbed one of the ornaments from my (late) Grandma’s tree,

and I freaked out, practically tackled him, and grabbed it back yelling, “NOOOOO!  THAT’S MY SPECIAL!!”

Whoopsy, doopsy!  Mama lost control! 

I was pretty embarrassed that Brian had to witness it.

As he sat comfortably on the couch with his zoom lens.

(Payback for me videoing him instead of helping while he chopped down the tree while wearing an Isaac-hat?)

So, our tree got decorated! 

And I ran to the bathroom to grind my birth control pill up into a powder and snort it.

The End.

(It was a beauty)