Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Trimming the Tree

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(Joseph’s reaction to discovering our Darth Vader ornament)

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Let me start out by saying that decorating the Christmas tree used to be one of my favorite things to do!

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(Doesn’t everyone trim the tree while holding a blankie and a windmill?)

(or a Santa hat and a sword?)

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And now Joseph says that it was his favorite thing he did in a long long long long time, while I…well…I would like to sign up for childbirth or a colonoscopy before I do that again.

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First of all, this tree is the pokiest tree known to man.

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I recently had a flu shot, and this tree, if it barely grazes your skin, hurts worse that a hundred flu shots.

See?

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See my face of pain?  Would I make that face for nothing?

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(And a little treat for Brian…)

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Secondly, even though I bought some kid-friendly ornaments (read:non-breakable) from Target to occupy Isaac, all he wanted were the “Balls!” “Balls!” '”Balls!!!” A wee bit stressful for anyone who might want to see those “Balls” again.

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(Yes, he is licking the ball)

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And Joseph would barely balance the hook on the last needle of the branch (probably afraid of being harpooned by our Tree of Pain), which meant that I literally caught a few of the balls on their way to the ground.

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Lastly, Isaac is a little…physical.  He thinks that, if you are on the ground, you are free game to be tackled/karate chopped/stomped on/jumped on.

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Are you ready for my favorite picture in a looooong time?  It is terrible  of me, but it really sums up my feelings towards Isaac…

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Haha!  Can’t you just see an “ISAAAC!!” thought bubble above my head?

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So, there was some laughter,

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and some tears,

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but all in all I think I gave the boys a good memory.

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(Joseph kept saying that all of the ornaments were “beauties”)

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You know, until they FORGET IT ALL BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL TOO YOUNG AND WON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING I’VE DONE FOR THEM SO FAR!

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But, whatever.  I didn’t become a mother for the accolades.  Just so that I could retire at 22 years old!

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Our Decorating Time O’Fun ended when Isaac grabbed one of the ornaments from my (late) Grandma’s tree,

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and I freaked out, practically tackled him, and grabbed it back yelling, “NOOOOO!  THAT’S MY SPECIAL!!”

Whoopsy, doopsy!  Mama lost control! 

I was pretty embarrassed that Brian had to witness it.

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As he sat comfortably on the couch with his zoom lens.

(Payback for me videoing him instead of helping while he chopped down the tree while wearing an Isaac-hat?)

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So, our tree got decorated! 

And I ran to the bathroom to grind my birth control pill up into a powder and snort it.

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The End.

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(It was a beauty)

9 comments:

T Rex Mom said...

Yeah - that pretty much sums it up. By the way, Bebe Sister feels the same way about any time we're on the ground, too. She can tackle like an NFL star.

No bulbs on our tree this year. T Rex Dad did put up one of his fragile special ornaments - I did not put up any. And our little tree is on a table, too. Still, though, I would say our experience was better than a colonoscopy or child birth because we simplified so much. I guess there will be time later on to have a more "Christmas in Connecticut" experience.

I did want to say I appreciated your statement about not wanting to retire at 22 years old. I guess this parenting thing is a learning experience and we have plenty of time to get it all figured out.

Wonderful posting - always so bluntly and humorously honest.

blueviolet said...

Your last line was hilarious! I was cracking up that they were bare bellied next to the pokey tree. What a wonderfully entertaining tree trimming post!

suzy said...

ha!!!

sarah said...

snorting birth control. i almost spit my lunch laughing. with 4 ages 3,3, 18 and 18 months in my house most days, i will remember that line.

Jen said...

That picture of you and Issac had me laughing out loud. Truly!

And pretty much sums up all mother's with their kids. I love it.

britney said...

Oh my dear. We need to chat. I really hope the Lord blesses you with a sweet little girl someday, but you do such a great job raising boys.

Maureen said...

HILARIOUS, ADORABLE and SO REAL! You two are such good parents, and they will "remember" thanks to your blog!

Jenners said...

First of all, I love that your boys do almost everything without shirts … very brave considering the Tree of Pain.

Second, you are just as cute (if not cuter) than your very cute boys. So there.

Third, I wish I lived closer to you.

lisa said...

hahah caitlin, I love you.