Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Hotel

Let’s (cough) move on (wheeze) to the (sniff) hotel (sneeze) now, (moan) shall we?

What’s that? (drip, drip) Yes, I AM sick again! (sniffle) And Brian is too! So sweet of you to notice! But you know I don’t like to complain…sigh… (head. pounding.rhythmically.)



After our exhausting day, we were thrilled to pull up in front of our hotel, the Best Western in Lanham, Maryland. (I’m giving you the name to save any future travelers from misery)


Thrilled, that is, until we saw several homeless people sleeping outside the front door, and some rough looking individuals exchanging profanities outside the lobby.


I learned a few new words on my way inside, and interrupted the two front desk ladies in the middle of an argument about whether or not they should have let some “questionable looking person” check in to the hotel.


The room seemed fine, though, and Joseph was thrilled to be there, exclaiming “We’re HOME!!” as we walked into the door.

So, clearly Joseph has some warped perception of home that we should work out, but that is for another day.


All of us changed into our swimming suits and headed down to the pool, determined to find a bit of fun in a looong evening.


Unfortunately, the pool was

a) frigid

b) standing, stagnant water (no filter or jets to be seen)

c) shining with oil of some kind

d) sprinkled with lots and lots of hair. And I’m not talking about the kind that grows on your head. Or arms. Or legs. Or armpits. Or eyebrows.


“a” was actually a blessing because of b,c,and d. The boys barely dipped a leg in and wanted to go back to the room!


Brian and Joseph were hosing off their “dipped legs” in a hot shower and I decided to take Isaac with me to the lobby’s market to get me some CHOCOLATE!!


The goods in hand, I entered the elevator to return to our room, noticing that I happened to be sharing it with two ladies who were very possibly (but not definitely, I don't want to make any snap judgements) "working” that night, and a large man with lots of gold jewelry, tattoos and a GRILL on both the top and the bottom, for pete’s sake.

The elevator closed, and we began our ascent.

For all of you who are moaning in anticipation remembering my little rambling-when-nervous problem ala my last elevator incident, let me assure you, I may be awkward sometimes, but this girl KNOWS when it is really a good time to keep your mouth shut.

Isaac, however.


Isaac was staring at the man like he was some foreign creature.

I mean, OBVIOUSLY staring at the man and OBVIOUSLY clinging to me for dear life.

The man nudged the women and gestured to Isaac as they all snickered.

Then he leaned over up close to Isaac and smiled, his gold grill huge and gleaming.

And my chubby little blue eyed blondie…



I felt equal parts proud ("See! We accept all sorts of people! We are becoming well rounded, open minded individuals on the East Coast!"), and worried (why is my baby so ready to ditch me for a stranger? Boring much?) as everyone in the elevator erupted into laughter and the man said,Awww! That white baby likes me!”


Thankfully, that was the second that the doors opened onto our floor, so I was able to wish them a goodnight, wave and exit before saying anything awkward or Caitlin-ish like "We love everyone!!"

Off we went, back to our room that ...seemed to be vibrating.


During the next 30 minutes, we discovered that this particular Best Western turns it’s ballroom/restaurant into a NIGHT CLUB on the weekends,

that this night club was directly under our room,

and that we would be most likely skipping the whole “sleep” portion of our night.


After the lady down the hall stopped yelling at her many children to “Get the *BEEP* back into that room!!” so that she could go to the nightclub, my boys drifted off to sleep, rocked by the rhythmic bass thumping.

And after my bed stopped vibrating at about 2 am, I was able to sleep as well.


The boys awoke cranky at 6:30, and Brian and I, after bickering about various things as we got ready, began the serious discussion of “Should we just give up our deposit and go home tonight?”

We decided that we would both buck up, enjoy our day in DC, and stay in the hotel another night as planned.

We had driven all that way, after all.

And there is a good chance that we will never be back in the DC area again!

And the hotel DID have free breakfast…

Adventure back on!


ter@waaoms said...

lol seriously, only you could make it sound more like a comedy than a horror movie. lol

Rachel said...

You should write a memoir some day Caitlin! I think it would be a New York Times Best Seller! Probably #1 and would be made into a movie :)

I have a similar story from when Brennan and I stayed in a hotel near the Miami Airport when we went on our cruise. I'm pretty sure there was a woman "working" in the hotel lobby as well. We got stuck with the only room available. It was a smoking room and it was sooooo bad that the lady at the front desk said that we could go take a look at it and decide if we wanted to take it. This was after we had already booked it weeks in advance and it was 10:30 at night. The bed had stains ALL over it :( We had no choice but to stay. I slept in my cloths all night.

Jen said...

Someone said it before but they were right, your life should be a TV show.

I would laugh until my belly ached.

Jenners said...

You are so darn funny that you make the worst night ever sound so funny. It almost makes me wish you more misadventures.

Momma said...

You are all so RESILIENT! I am glad that you are making the most out of your East Coast experience, and that you are becoming so "well rounded" and accept all kinds of people ....not like all of us hicks in Oregawn.

suzy said...

Should I say it........ You SHOULDA gone with Priceline. Ha! :) Great story friend... I was laughing so hard at the part of the pimp on the elevator... really?!!!!!

T Rex Mom said...

Oh my gosh - it's almost too surreal. They say truth is stranger than fiction, right?

I'll say it again - oh my!

britney said...

I think God's sense of humor is played out in your life because He knows you can handle it, and you do, soooo well. I seriously can't believe the stuff that happens to you guys.

kisatrtle said...

that white baby likes me....ROFLMAO