On how not doing dishes saved my life. (Or my childrens’ lives) (Or just my sanity)

 

Mornings are my least favorite time of the day.

(Except for 4:30 pm, of course, which is EVERY mother’s REALLY least favorite time of the day.  Are you with me mothers?)

It’s interesting, because I would consider myself a morning person! 

Until I had these here children!

This is how my morning goes:

I open my eyes to a child crying about whhhhyyyy can’t they uuuuuuse the compuuuuuuter?? (Our new rule is only on weekends.  More on that later.)  Can they watch a moooovie?  When is breaaaaakfast??  And then “snuggle time” which lately involves me trying to protect Samuel (did I not mention that Samuel was in my bed?  Oh I will mention it later, trust me), and them arguing over who gets to be “next to me” meaning “breathing stinky morning breath in my face and poking me with razor sharp elbows.”

Next up, diaper changes, and breakfast which involves “I don’t like oatmeal, how much do I have to eat?, can I have juice?, why???, I need more cereal, I need a fresh bowl for my cereal, I need more, I need more, I need more….”

And then I am moping up the milk on the table, and picking up the rice checks and oats on the floor, and trying to unload the dishwasher with last nights clean dishes, and loading the breakfast ones.

Then its clothes on x3 and then my clothes, and start the laundry, wipe up some bodily fluid incident in the bathroom and then-

Someone is hungry again.

Hold me.

I have tried waking up earlier so that I can get some stuff done before they wake up- oh how I’ve tried!  But HOW IN THE WORLD can I wake up earlier than children who wake up at such a horrible hour?

In fact, listen to this:

I have set my alarm for 5:45am every night since Samuel was probably 2 months old.  Thinking that, if I wake up before Samuel joins me in bed for nursy/snuggle/don’t move or I’ll wake up time, or before Joseph comes in with some excuse as to why he is out of bed before the allowed time, then I will get up, start the coffee, and start my day.

Guess how many times that has happened?? ZERO!!!  Haha!  Not even once!

I kind of giggle about it when I turn off my alarm at 3:00, 4:23, 3:13 or what have you, to climb out of bed and get a crying Samuel. 

Although, my giggle sounds a bit like a sob.  Who can really tell at that hour? 

(Is the middle-of-the-night-but-only-when-I’m-awake-against-my-will allowed to be a least favortie time of day?  Because it totally is mine, now that I think about it.)

 

Anyways, all this to say: I have found something to make that early morning rush a little more bearable! 

It’s so easy!  It’s so simple!

(look away Mom.)

 

I DON’T DO MY BREAKFAST DISHES!!

I don’t even unload the dishwasher!

I pile those dishes on into the sink and WALK AWAY,

To face them at a more reasonable time.

Like during one of Samuel’s 20 minute naps.

 

 

Maybe you are all already doing this? 

Maybe your moms weren’t overachievers in the cleaning department (hi mom! I knew you would keep reading!), and you thought of not doing your breakfast dishes in college?

You guuuuys, is saving me like 15 minutes a morning!

How did I not know this was an option??!

 

 

Waaaaait a minute.

Do I have to do lunch dishes?

Or dinner ones?

Is this one of those things that I get to choose now that I’m an adult??

(Like eating as much candy as I want?)

 

How long until my not doing dishes become a problem?

(Like how all the candy made me chubby?)

 

Are exclusively-used- paper dishes a socially acceptable alternative?

 

Does all of this not-doing-it things extend to laundry?  Food prep?  Small-child-booty wiping?

 

Please advise.