Things

 

(Pictures from this past weekend with the inlaws at the Oregon Coast)

- I just ate 2 Drumsticks.  If you just pictured a chicken leg instead of a chocolate filled, chocolate and peanut coated ice cream treat- well, gross.  And you should know better.

- I am contemplating a third.  No Caitlin! BAD! Bad girl! But maybe?

- I got a bit of a sunburn from my Memorial Day weekend at the beach . 

And I know it is SO BAD for you to get burned, and I know that it ages you and I am usually really great about sunblock and embracing my whiteness, but MAN!  A tan looks sooooo much better you guys!  Why, society, why have you brainwashed me?

(Joseph’s first whole sand dollar)

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- Brian laid down for a nap after the boys went to bed, intending to wake up about 30 minutes later to watch Madmen with me. 

I just made an entirely half-hearted attempt to wake him, which he refused, and I happily left.  I love my husband, but sometimes a quiet evening with a book sounds just lovely too.

- And by book I mean dinking around on Facebook first.

- Every day I forget I am pregnant for some amount of time. Sometimes hours.

Usually a kick reminds me, but today it was when I glanced down and thought Woah Caitlin!  Suck it in girl! Before realizing that…well…I can’t. 

So bring on the Drumsticks-yes?

- Why is it every night when they are in bed and I am looking at pictures of the boys I am all choked up with love for them, but every day at about 1pm I am giddy with relief to chuck them into their nap beds?

(Isaac lay like this on purpose to be like Brian…)

 

 

- This evening I had a few minutes of free time with just Joseph and I had to choose between putting away some laundry that had been staring at me since 7 am and doing something with him instead. 

And I chose the laundry. 

In the back of my mind I was thinking- I might regret this some day! Savor every moment!- and the like, but c’mon man.

Sometimes the laundry just has to be put away.

- Well, I am off to the freezer…to…check on…something…?

 

 

The View from my Kitchen Window

I am so blessed!

Times when I remember how blessed I am:

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-When Joseph sniffs my neck deeply, sighs, and says “I love you Mama.”

-When he spilled his cereal and I said, “Everyone spills sometimes!” and he yelled “NOT JESUS!!!”

-When Isaac, in his sleep, while I am tucking him in, asks for a hug.

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Times when I NEED to remember:

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- When I came out of the shower to find Isaac sitting at the table with a tomato. And scissors.

- When Joseph says “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” about something I’ve told him to do

- When I pick up the same 200 action figures over and over and OUCH! just stepped on one I missed.

 

My home. Their home.

 

Every day there is a memory.

Driving on the road between Brian’s old house and mine.  The road that we used to speed down in his old brown truck (his hand on my knee) to make it home for midnight curfew.

Passing the alley behind the coffee shop where I used to work, the alley where I sat and cried on the day that Brian broke up with me.

The Aquatic Center where I took swim lessons for years, and met the girl whom I still cherish in friendship today.

Smelling the impending Oregon summer and remembering lying in the grass with that best friend of mine, next to a sprinkler and working on our tans.

The Minute Mart where my dad would take me to get candy sometimes.  Where I would choose the Charleston Chew because it seemed like the biggest option.

The street where my Mom used to turn to get to my music lessons.

Restaurants where I went on dates (and not just with Brian…), and the park where Brian told me that he liked me for the first time.

Everything smacks of freedom and childhood and the cocoon of growing up in a loving home and having everything out in front of you.

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And now, little by little, my children are claiming pieces of these memories.

Visiting the restaurants.

Recognizing the roads.

Swimming in the pool.

Smelling the almost-summer Oregon air.

Running through the parks that used to have my footsteps on them.

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And it is so wonderful because I am so glad to have them here!

I can share in their happiness,

to see them enjoying the fruits of my youth,

But it is hard and weird because it used to be MINE,

back when I was ME and not US.

And Oh, when will this roller coaster ride to adulthood finally end and I can feel like I have finally arrived?

An adult.