The Y chromosome

 

Lately, I have been looking at Joseph and noticing something.

He is different.  Different than me, different than he used to be…

He is not my little baby- he is a BOY.

Take this newest batman obsession, for example.

Out of nowhere, Joseph decided that Batman is the coolest thing on the planet (note: he had never watched a batman show or looked at a comic book at the time.)  There was just something innately attractive about the caped crusader to my little male.

So, we got Joseph a Batman Halloween costume…

And now it is ALL Batman ALL the time.

     

My fingers are sore- sore I tell you!- from buttoning and unbuttoning that darn costume all day long.

That costume is the first thing that he asks for when he wakes up!  And, when I say, “Not right now, honey” he proceeds to ask, “Now?  It’s Batman time now?  Now?” Until I want to rip out my poor tired eyeballs…or give in and put on the costume.

I hear him in the other room saying “BAT-mobile!  BAT-mobile!” over and over.

He is constantly posing, flexing, leaping, chopping, and telling me to “WATCH OUT for my spikes on my arm!!  Look at my HUGE muscles!!”

 (showing me the spikes)

He sings the Batman theme song ad nauseum.

What is the appeal?

Who is this person?

Is this what it is going to be like raising a BOY?! (boyS??!)

                                  

Yesterday, we were talking about our day as usual when Joseph asked me, “Mama, you love Batman?”

“Yes, I suppose I do love Batman.”

“You love Joker?” he asked next.

“No, I don’t love Joker” I played along.

“No, her is a CRIMINAL!  Her is BAD!” he shouted.

Then, he said, “Do squirrels love Joker?”

“Squirrels?” maybe I misheard him.

“Yes, squirrels!”

“No, probably not.”

“YES!  Yes squirrels DOs!  They DOs love Joker!”

And then he punched the air and ran off.

Ummm…yeah.

Maybe a girl next?

Blueberries, Batman, and the ER

Alright, I couldn't leave all of you dear readers hanging until tomorrow!
I will postpone my bedtime to fill you in.

Let me start by saying that everyone is just fine now! Also, this post is a little bit detailed and rambly- so feel free to skim.

On Friday night, the boys and I were eating a leisurely dinner (Brian was working late) when Isaac choked on a blueberry. (Yes, I had been giving him SMALL SOFT blueberries, or large ones cut up...)
It seemed to be a normal everyday choke (coughing,etc) until he inhaled deeply and stopped breathing.
Stopped. Breathing!

I threw off the high chair tray (literally. Food EVERYWHERE!) and threw him over my knee to begin the baby Heimlich.

I don't know how long it took, it SEEMED like a million years, but I do know that it was long enough for me to administer back blows, sit him upright, and then throw him over the other knee to start back blows again.

Now I was beginning to panic and wonder "At what point to I stop trying this and call 911? Where is my cell phone? Do I call the doorman first?"

Then, Isaac gave a gag and began breathing again.
Kind of.
Instead of normal breathing, he was giving shallow gasps, followed by gags/heaves. Over and over and over.

I knew he was getting SOME air, so I walked around with him patting on his back, offering some water, and generally shaking and stunned.

Finally, I called my mom, and asked her to listen to what Isaac was doing. She listened for about a second and said, "Take him to urgent care. NOW! GO!"

I turned to Joseph and said, "Joseph, Isaac is really sick and we need to take him to the doctor RIGHT NOW. You need to listen to mommy and come get in the stroller NOW."

Miracle of miracles, he listened! He was in his beloved batman costume at the time (which deserves it's own post), and the only thing he said was "I can't find my cape!" as he was climbing into the stroller.

Long story a bit less long, we couldn't find an urgent care nearby, I stopped a few people who lived in the area, including a pregnant woman who kept bursting into tears every time Isaac would gag. After determining that the nearest Urgent Care was waaaaaay too far for my comfort level, a local business owner who had come out to see what was the matter ran into his store to call 911.

And the sirens started coming. 2 fire trucks and 2 ambulances came screaming around the corner as Isaac gave one final big gag and... began chewing.
And looking around.

Once the firemen (!!!) could see that the baby could wait for the paramedics to unload, they turned to Joseph.

"Batman! What are you doing here?" They shouted.
"I'm here to RESCUE PEOPLE!" Joseph shouted back!

Commence the end of my terror and the beginning of the best night of Joseph's life. Firemen! Firetrucks! They were talking right to him!
And then we got into the ambulance. He turned to me and said "MOMMY! We are IN an ambulance!!!"

The paramedics determined that Isaac was doing fine- he had an elevated heart-rate from panicking, and he still sounded a bit phlemmy, but not in any danger. They recommended that we still go into the hospital in case part of the blueberry was still in his lung/airway that could dislodge and become a problem later in the night.

So, they asked "Batman" if he wanted to ride in the front (ummm..oh yeah!) and away we went. I couldn't really hear what Joseph was saying, but I do know that he was talking the WHOLE time!

After 3 hours (!!!!) by myself with both boys in the ER (I kept telling Brian not to bother coming because SURELY we were going to be next!), it was determined that

1) Isaac is fine
2) I will never let him eat blueberries again
3) The FDNY (does that include paramedics?) are the best ever
4) The batman costume turns my son into a wonderful, friendly, brave little boy who I don't even recognize.

He was going up to complete strangers (Even men! Even men of different races!), and initiating conversations about Batman. And giving high fives. And cracking up all of the doctors and patients.
Basically he was a huge hit.

So, I survived my first 911 call, and our first trip to a NY hospital.

Then, I took my boys and my stroller at 11pm and hailed a cab.

Sometimes I don't even recognize myself.

Thank you Lord, for keeping my sweet baby safe!

Can you guess where we went on Friday?

Hint: Sirens were involved....






(More tomorrow...He is awake to nurse so I'm off!)

The Upside of Your Toys Being in Storage

Joseph has finally noticed that there is another human hanging around our family!




Isaac has idolized him since birth, and is thrilled at the new attention...



Mostly.


(more on the batman costume in a later post...)



As their mother, I could just vomit at the extreme cuteness that is my kids playing together!


And Joseph's tattletale tendencies are coming in handy when I am trying to do dishes. ("Mommy! Isaac is climbing on the potty!!!")




It was 8 months in coming, but it seems as though, in Joseph's world, Isaac has finally arrived.

Or, as he told me yesterday, "Mama! That Baby! Her is CRAWLING!!!"





(HIS name is Isaac)
(HE started crawling a month ago)

Empire State Building

Did you know that, at the top of the Empire building, there is a button?

A big red button?

About 3 feet off the ground?



Did you know that this button is for emergencies (terrorists, fires, heart attacks, and the like) and not for fun?

If this button were to be pushed, did you know that someone would be on the line (read: a nice loud speaker projecting across the observation deck) instantly?




Did you know that, at the top of the Empire State Building, there is a nice guard named Ryan?

And that Ryan is super understanding and patient when your son pushes said red button, even though Ryan has already had to tell you to get your son down from climbing on the observation deck fence?

Did you know that Ryan also doesn't even get upset when the offending toddler then turns to him and asks if he is the mailman? (Even though, in his mind at least, Ryan's outfit is clearly for a GUARD of the Empire State Building and not just a pidly-old-MAILMAN!)




See all of the things that you (we) are learning?

The Time Between

(trying to keep his life a little normal with some playdoh time)





I am currently homeless.


My house sits empty in Boise.
My belongings sit in storage in Cranberry, New Jersey.
And I sit in a Manhattan hotel, not knowing where we are living starting November 1st.

I am a homemaker without a home.
I am...at odds with myself.
In limbo.

How do you decorate for Halloween in a hotel? Do we put our jack-o-lanterns in the hallway? How can I make pumpkin-shaped pancakes when my skillet/pumpkin cookie cutters are in storage? I don't even have my pumpkin tea pot with me!!!!!!

All very important stuff, you see.


At times, I find myself doubting our decision.

I look at my baby, who, by the time we are done with this stay, will have spent 1/4 of his life in a hotel room.

I look at my little boy who has left behind everything he knows (including 98% of his toys which are now in storage too) as he talks about how our old house is "closed and locked."


Then, last week, there came a lengthy grocery store trip and a particularly long check-out line.
Joseph starting whining, and cried that he was ready to "Go home please!"

With a lump in my throat, I reminded him that we didn't live in our house anymore.

To which he replied, "No! Home to the hotel! I'm ready to go home to the hotel room! I want to go HOOOOME!!"



It turns out that I'm not really homeless. Just houseless.
As corny as it sounds, home is where your family is. Where your heart is, see?


So, I took that little boy's hand, paid for the groceries, and took him home.

New York

(our hotel room window. No, it doesn't open more than two inches. Yes, it still makes me nervous too.)

We're here!
Well, okay, we've been here for a while, but I still can't really believe it.

(Been here a whole month and still haven't been mugged once btw! Take that Negative Nancys who disapproved of taking children to New York City!)




Please forgive my long absence-Our laptop was broken in the move, so I have spent the past month without any internet access.
I will go ahead and pause a moment to let that sink in.



I also now have approximately 1000 unread items in my google reader. So, I am planning on reading them but not commenting- hope you all understand!

Hmmm... this post seems to be rambling, and I am having a hard time staying cohesive. Let's summarize:

-I am alive
-No muggings
-Finally have internet
-I am now going to be back to blogging regularly.



I am sure that you have a lot of questions:


Have I thrown out my maternity spandex and turned to high-fashion?
Is Joseph suddenly well behaved and not-say-throwing himself on the subway platform in a temper tantrum because he doesn't want to get in the stroller?

Let's just say: Same blogger, same difficult child, different city.