Here’s how most days go for me:
My first thought when I wake up is “how can I keep sleeping?” as in is it hamburger day at school? (the only hot lunch acceptable to Joseph), can I somehow drive Joseph so I have an extra 10 minutes? How much does he reallllly need breakfast?? (kidding) etc etc etc.
But, once I’m up and the coffee is down I’m good to go!
I’m great to go, in fact! The world is my oyster!
I’m whistling a tune and coming up with little puns and jokes that no one gets but me! (my humor is lost on the 7 and under boy crowd) I have a to-do list that is totally doable because I can do it allll!!! Take THAT Monday!!
And then nap time comes inching closer and, what do you know? I am actually rather sleepy. In fact really sleepy. This laundry is boring now. And that to-do list seems bossy. Why are these children talking to me? GET IN BED EVERYONE IT’S NAP TIME!
Next, I try to nap during the 20 minute window between when Samuel stops singing on the monitor and when Joseph comes slamming in the front door from school. It is often successful for 5-10 of those minutes, but also often interrupted by the other child needing to poop, needing a snack, wanting to snuggle, wondering if he can run outside “real quick” in the front yard, or the UPS man.
Then comes the afternoon, which is my nemesis. It is full of fighting (“I had it first!” “No I DID!” PEOPLE!! How am I supposed to know who had the freaking thing first?? HOW?? I don’t understand this part of parenting!)
My ears are flooded with information about
3) any thing regarding body fluids
and I have a sweaty post nap toddler plastered to me and suddenly I realize that everything I have done to clean up has been undone and it turns out that my to-do list is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE! And I hate to do lists now and I am basically rocking in the corner in my robe muttering to myself like a crazy cat lady.
The clock finally makes it to 5:30 and one of two things happen.
1) I suddenly perk up and am sunny and productive and “whats the problem? I’ve got this!” when Brian comes down from work (note: this is Brian’s favorite option) or
2) I fling myself at him and tell him how tired I am and all of the horrible things that the children have done to each other/the house/me.
At which point Brian strokes my head and says that he’s tired too and I shriek “NO! YOU CAN’T BE TIRED!! I’M THE TIRED ONE!! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE OF US!” and we cling to each other in the eye of the storm, with bedtime looming on the horizon.
One million years later, all the children are bathed, brushed, flossed, threatened, hugged, pajama-ed, and in bed.
And, what do you know it?
I’m feeling pretty darn good!
Lets have more babies! Aren’t they so adorable? What was my problem today? They are so sweet and it is all so meaningful and rewarding! Life is good! Wheeee!!!!
And I stay up to late watching tv.